St. Patrick's Day Etiquette: Say "hello" to celebrating, but what about the Irish good-bye?

 

Trip to Ireland: hello Blarney Castle . What about the Irish good-bye?

This week, we all are invited to party like we're Irish. On St. Patrick's Day, no matter our ancestry, we clink glasses filled with green-tinted beverages, don emerald-hued attired and place an "O" followed by an apostrophe in front of our names. But, after all the celebrating, can we exit the social gathering without formally bidding adieu?  In other words, employ the much derided "Irish Good-bye"?  

According to one etiquette expert, the silent departure can be a good thing.

Last week, in a Wall Street Journal lifestyle essay written by etiquette coach, Alison Cherperdak, she defends the practice of leaving a party without explanation, though she's quick to point out, this isn't exclusive to the Irish.  In fact, it's noted, many in Ireland are unfamiliar with the term. And, though the concept may be universal, it's bestowed to different nationalities depending on the country. For example, in England, it's referred to as the French leave, the French label it as the "filer l'anglaise" and Germans attribute it to the Polish. 

A stop at Bewley's in Dublin for a cup of tea and some pastries.

In spite of origin, one professor of Celtic Studies and Folklore at the University of Dublin. Dr. Fitzgerald, affirms that while the Irish Good-bye is an unfamiliar term in Ireland, she understands its roots. Irish social culture values warmth and informality, not long ceremonial farewells. Elaborate good‑byes can feel forced or uncomfortable.

But, is ducking out without a word an acceptable alternative? Cherperdak, sagely advises, it depends.

If you're at, say, a large house party on March 17, or, as the etiquette coach states, a packed wedding reception, slipping out unnoticed may be the most polite thing you can do.  It can be less disruptive and provides the host a break from an endless stream of farewells.

A small dinner party, however, requires some parting words. To ghost the host would be rude.

So, what can help you determine proper farewell protocol? Cherperdak suggests reading the room. If your absence won't be noticed until the next day, full throttle the Irish Good-bye. On the other hand, if your leave will be glaringly obvious, do not go quietly into the night.

The Midwest Good-bye hangs in my hallway: guests are warned!

Planning your exit strategy isn't always easy, as we in the Midwest are most familiar. My family knows intimately, the "welp's", the layers of hugs and the requisite hand on the doorknob conversation - in extreme conditions, even an accompanying walk to the car.  

We're reasonable folks, and admit, there's probably a happy medium somewhere between the good-bye getaway and the overwrought  au revoir. 

How ever you celebrate March 17, we wish you a green-infused par-tay, and a festive farewell of your choosing.

Happy St. Patrick's Day from Barbara O'Gulley