Thanksgiving turkeys, tablescapes and traditions - remain, refresh, or remove?

Thanksgiving Day turkeys, uninvited, visit our backyard -not for dinner, but close.

This year, we had turkey for Thanksgiving—though not the kind you get at Kroger's. Instead, we were greeted by an invasion of wild turkeys in our backyard. These uninvited guests didn’t linger long, which was just as well, since we had a proper invitation to join our extended family for a traditional holiday feast.

That seasonal repast was everything one hopes for: excellent company, delicious stuffing, rich gravy, pumpkin pies, tart cranberries, a nouveau (to moi)  green bean casserole, and—don’t tell our feathered intruders—a perfectly roasted turkey.

At Chez Gulleys, Thanksgiving dinner is usually prepared by my husband, Chris, our resident gourmet chef. My contribution tends to be a dry stuffing (redeemed by an artfully decorated tablescape). This year, however, we had the rare treat of being guests, and it was wonderful.

We did bring a customary dish to pass—my first-ever green bean casserole. Despite a last-minute ingredient panic, it turned out far tastier than my stuffing, and I was relieved to report success. That small victory led Barb’s Tea Service to ponder: which holiday traditions should remain, need a refresh or an all-out removal?

Just in time, Southern Living published “Eight Traditional Holiday Etiquette Rules Experts Say No Longer Apply.” We selected five that focus on dining and added our own BTS notes.

Fine china or paper are acceptable. Bonus: disposables can provide meaning & easy clean up.

1. Assigned Seats:

Once a hallmark of formal dinners (and yes, we still own nameplate holders), assigned seating is fading. Modern gatherings lean toward relaxed, open seating that encourages mingling—and, if you’re strategic, the best view of the big screen for the Detroit Lions game. This year, if your chair lacked a good view, consider yourself fortunate.

2. The Kid’s Table:

Experts suggest loosening the reins here: a multi-generational table can build lasting memories. We’ve used the “kid’s table” for years, but when those seated there are - or pushing - forty, can we still call it that? (Asking for some millennials we know.)

3. Fine China:  Holiday tablescapes no longer require fancy china. As etiquette professional Maralee McKee notes: “You [the host] decide how formal or informal you want the event to be…whether you’d like to use your heirloom china or the adorable plates you spotted at the local paper goods shop, feel free to do so.” We’d add: eco-friendly disposables make cleanup blissfully easy.

Green bean casserole suits my culinary skills:  few ingredients, easy prep.

4. Just One Cook in the Kitchen:  Some hosts prefer to handle all the cooking, and that’s fine if understood. But preparing food, drinks, décor, and setup is a heavy lift. A gentle reminder: offer to contribute, whether a dish or a beverage. Your host will likely know what’s missing and suggest something that complements the menu.

Pro tip:  few ingredients can be misleading. Count before you bake!

For me, that meant green bean casserole. With minimal prep and few ingredients, it suited my culinary skills. (We used Campbell’s cream of mushroom soup—still a tasty comfort food classic despite a recent executive’s commentary that landed him in “hot-water soup” and eventually “canned.”) Pro tip: buy the right number of cans the first time to avoid a frantic grocery run.

Denim paired with bow tie equals comfort & style, admired by all - including pups.

 

5. Holiday Dress Codes:  Etiquette expert Christine Carmichael notes that strict dress codes have given way to casual joy. She suggests ditching the tuxedo for attire "that screams, I’m here to celebrate, not attend a black-tie circus.” Bottom line, Carmichael advises to dress in a way that reflects the specific event's tone.

Firstly, to that we say, we're not in favor of anything that "screams", preferring attire that my just raise the volume slightly. Secondly, we’d add be comfortable, but stylish. Ditch the jogging pants, but don’t be afraid of the bow tie.

Our Own Rule

To these five, we add one tradition that never goes out of style: gratitude. Thanksgiving is about family and friends, those with whom we literally and figuratively break bread. We’re thankful for everyone who visits Barb’s Tea Service today and throughout the year. As one charming Thanksgiving plate reminds us, we are “blessed and grateful”—even with a shortage of green beans and a non-victorious Lions game.

Gilmore Girls 25th Anniversary Part 3: Celebrate the holidays in Stars Hollow with festive decor - and, if dreams come true - an Emily Gilmore Tea!

Dragonfly Inn in WB's Stars Hollow offers Emily Gilmore afternoon tea.

Smelling Snow in Stars Hollow and Detroit

Like Lorelai Gilmore, we smell snow—that magical signal in Stars Hollow and, yes, even Detroit—that the fragrant aromas of the holiday season are quickly approaching. It’s time to deck the gazebo with holly, string lights outside the Inn, and trim the tree. To capture the festive mood and Gilmore Girls charm this year, we’ve had help from Hallmark, Amazon, and—if dreams really do come true—a trip to Stars Hollow courtesy of Warner Bros. Studio, complete with tea at the Dragonfly Inn.

As noted in our last two blogs, Gilmore Girls 25th Anniversary Part 1 and Part 2, there’s plenty happening to mark this milestone year. With Christmas, Hanukkah, and other holidays only days away, let’s start with some easy-to-find Gilmore Girls décor to celebrate both the season and the Silver Anniversary of our beloved Stars Hollow.

Hallmark mini ornaments, assortment of items from Luke's Diner

Festive Finds for Fans

Hallmark Ornaments: This year’s collection includes the Stars Hollow sign, the town gazebo, and a miniature trio from Luke’s Diner—a to-go cup, Luke’s logo sign, and the iconic “No Cell Phones” notice (remember, it was the year 2000).

Amazon Baubles: Alongside the Hallmark minis, I found a sweet and simple “I Smell Snow” ornament—perfectly understated, just like the Gilmore Girls themselves.

Advent Calendar: Available on Amazon and the Warner Bros. online shop, the Gilmore Girls advent calendar offers twelve days of treats leading up to the big holiday. At just over $100, it’s a splurge, but one within reach for fans eager to count down in true Stars Hollow style.

Starting this December, WB Studios offers visitors a tour of Stars Hollow, decked out for the holidays.

A Holiday Wish: Stars Hollow Itself

At the very top of the wish list? Stars Hollow itself. In true Dorothy-like fashion, we at BTS will wish upon a Stars (Hollow) and wake up where Luke serves coffee and the Dragonfly Inn hosts afternoon tea.

From December 18 through January 2026, Warner Bros. Studio is offering tours of the Stars Hollow set decorated for the holidays. Guests can stroll through Lorelai’s house, sip coffee at Luke’s Diner, and enjoy themed meals and beverages at the Dragonfly Inn—including afternoon tea.

Tea at the Dragonfly

The Dragonfly Tea Room, described by WB as the place “where steeped tea meets Stars Hollow charm,” is irresistible.

•  Traditional Tea ($50 per person): Choice of tea, sweets and savories, scones with clotted cream, lemon curd, and house-made jams.

•  Emily Gilmore Tea Experience (+$25): All of the above, plus sparkling wine, seasonal soup, pasta salad, and wildflower honey for your scones.

Gifts for Every Gilmore

From under $5 to $125 and beyond, there’s plenty for Gilmore Girls fans on your holiday list this anniversary year. But for those who truly need to know (yes, Rory-Rachel 2026, I’m looking at you), nothing tops a trip to Stars Hollow—smelling snow and sipping tea at the Dragonfly Inn.

Gilmore Girls Advent Calendar

Closing Note

Happy Holidays to all you Lorelais, Rorys, Emilys, and Richards. May your journeys across the rainbow lead you straight to Stars Hollow.

Gilmore Girls 25th Anniversary Part 2: Fall fashions and who wears it best - Chris or Richard G.?

Chris, like Richard Gilmore, captures traditional style with flair

BTS celebrates the 25th anniversary of the Gilmore Girls with fall fashion.

As noted in our earlier blog (GG 25th Anniversary Part 1), this year marks the Silver Anniversary of the beloved comedy-drama series Gilmore Girls. The milestone has sparked a wave of events, commentary, and even commemorative Christmas ornaments (see GG 25th Anniversary Part 3). Recently, my clothing subscription service, Stitch Fix, joined the celebration by spotlighting the iconic styles of the Gilmore family. With credit to their curators, we’re sharing how to “get the look” below.

Lorelai: playful + chic

Get the look: statement coats, quirky graphic tees, unexpected layers 

Vintage bowling alley T-shirt, a strike for Lorelai look.

 Rory: collegiate + timeless

         Get the look: cozy knits, pleated skirts, blazers, easy denim

Denim shorts and MSU top makes the grade for Rory's style.

 Emily: classic + refined

Get the look: tailored jackets, pearls, elegant staples with polish

 

Jackets, pearls and polish for Emily.

But, what about the gents of Gilmore Girls, specifically Richard Gilmore, husband of Emily and father/ grandfather of Lorelai and Rory? BTS has crafted a style profile for Richard, along with tips for those who want to emulate his look.

Richard:  traditional + flair

    Get the look:  Tweed sport coats, bow ties, pocket squares and hats 

Who wears it best? 

Richard

Chris 

Chris - though both contenders are undeniably dashing, our vote goes to the gentlemen on the left, co-host of BTS podcast.

Whatever Gilmore Girl style you most identify with - quirky or classic - the red carpet is rolled out for all the stars (and their fans) at Stars Hollow.

✨ Stay tuned for our third and final installment in the Gilmore Girls 25th Anniversary series, featuring holiday décor inspired by the show.

Gilmore Girls 25th Anniversary Part 1: Barb's Tea Service celebrates with fake coffee, Gilmore Girl cookies and AFTERNOON tea!

Gilmore Girls tea includes GG-themed cookies and fake coffee (herbal tea)

Celebrating 25 Years of Gilmore Girls 

This fall marks the 25th anniversary of the Gilmore Girls premiere, and we’re celebrating with the elements of afternoon tea—even though the inhabitants of Stars Hollow famously prefer coffee, coffee, coffee.

For those unfamiliar, the “Gilmore Girls” are Lorelai Gilmore and her daughter, Rory. Lorelai, the only child of Richard and Emily Gilmore, grew up in a wealthy Hartford household. But when she became pregnant in high school, her fiercely independent streak took over. Refusing to marry Christopher, Rory’s father, Lorelai left the cushy world of her parents and set out for the charming—though fictional—town of Stars Hollow.

Like the generations of Gilmores at tea, my Mom, me & Rachel, circa GG Season 2

I began watching Gilmore Girls when it first aired on October 5, 2000, alongside my daughter Rachel, then in junior high and just four years younger than Rory, who was sixteen when we first met her.

Across seven seasons and 22 episodes each, the show delivered rapid-fire dialogue packed with witty banter and pop culture references ranging from the comfortably familiar to the delightfully obscure (a Claudine Longet record, anyone?).

Gulley, Gulley-Brown Girls last month, attending charity tea.

I adored Gilmore Girls, especially because my introduction to the series was with Rachel. She is very much like Rory—smart, calm, pretty, and a voracious reader. And I connected with Lorelai: a woman who, at 5’9” and a size 2, dreamed of opening her own business. To be transparent, I only shared one of those three traits, but the spirit was there.

Gilmore Girls and Tea Time

Early in Season One, we see Luke, owner of Luke’s Diner and Lorelai’s go-to coffee spot, attempt to curb her caffeine habit. He threatens to serve her herbal tea, though Lorelai is not easily swayed.

Luke pushing tea to frequent customer, Lorelai

Later that season, there’s even an afternoon tea outing with the four Gilmore women: Lorelai, Rory, Emily, and Richard’s mother—the “original Lorelai.” Despite the fancy venue, fine china, and white tablecloths, they refer to it as “high tea.” (Tea purists, please reserve your gasps.) Considering the show never actually played a Claudine Longet record, we’ll forgive this faux pas.

The original Lorelai at afternoon tea

Gilmore Girls "high" tea

But as Lorelai herself would say, “Life is short, talk fast.” So let’s get to the point: our Gilmore Girls afternoon tea, complete with themed cookies and “fake coffee”—which is actually tea.

Fake Coffee & Gilmore Cookies

Fake Coffee is an herbal blend from Big Heart Teas, a women-owned business much like Lorelai’s Dragonfly Inn. The ingredients—cacao, chicory root, dandelion root, and cinnamon—create a full-bodied tea with chocolate notes. For me, it evokes the holiday season with its sweet, cocoa-cinnamon flavor. Bonus: no caffeine, so no risk of Luke cutting you off.

Fake coffee, an  herbal tea blend from Big Heart Teas

Our Gilmore Girls cookies came from another woman-owned business, Mom that Bakes. Rachel and I first discovered Maryann V.’s creations at a charity tea last month, where her macarons were the best I’ve ever tasted. After tracking down her Facebook page, I found even more beautifully decorated treats—including Gilmore Girls cookies, which I promptly ordered for our celebration.

Gilmore Girls-themed cookies from Mom that Bakes

We served them not only at our tea at home but also in the studio last week for our Gilmore Girls–themed podcast, BTS Podcast 58. You can find it, along with all our episodes, on our YouTube channel: Barb’s Tea Service – YouTube.

More Gilmore Girls to come, so, as we like to say at Barb's Tea Service, please stay tuned!

BTS Podcast 58, Gilmore Girls theme with cookies and "coffee".

Tuesday Tea and Tomes: 'Social Graces' - Rivalry, Resilience, and Reflection in the Gilded Age (Astors vs Vanderbilts)

The Social Graces by Renée Rosen, historical fiction based on Caroline Astor and Alva Vanderbilt

The Gilded Age is no stranger to Barb's Tea Service—we’ve been immersed in this era for years, drawing early connections to Downton Abbey through our tea talks (such as “Gilded Age, Cora’s Story: A Prequel to Downton Abbey”) and visiting grand estates tied to the period, from Palm Beach, Florida to Oxfordshire, England. We awaited Julian Fellowes’ series The Gilded Age for a full decade (see: The Gilded Age Premieres Tonight! A Ten-Year Wait, but BTS Kept Gilded Age Busy for a Decade). In the meantime, we dug deep into books that explored the glamorous yet exploitative late 19th century—a time of breakthroughs in transportation, communication, and technology, as well as fierce battles between old money and new. That clash was most vividly embodied, both in fact and fiction, by Caroline Astor and Alva Vanderbilt.

Blenheim: Alva's daughter married the Duke

Marble House, Alva's Newport cottage

Which brings us to The Social Graces, a novel by Renée Rosen. Published in 2021, just a year before The Gilded Age premiered on HBO, Rosen offers her take on the famous feud between two formidable women: Astor, defender of pedigree, and Vanderbilt, champion of the nouveau riche. While Downton Abbey alluded to this rivalry and The Gilded Age places it center stage, is there still more to wring out of this clash of classes? As a Gilded Age devotee, I say “yes”—and, with a nod to Ward McAllister, arbiter of social taste and etiquette, I’ll add his favorite phrase: “don’t you know?”for emphasis. Rosen proves there is still more to uncover. 

Shortly after Downton Abby came on the scene, BTS presented its prequel, "The Gilded Age, Cora's Story" (look closely at the slide on the easel and see the Marble House stairway and Alva's portrait).

Before reading The Social Graces, I was very familiar with the broad arc of Caroline Astor’s reign over New York society—her struggle to keep new money out—and Alva Vanderbilt’s determination to break through. What Rosen brings to the Louis XV table is a richer portrait of these women. Though their elitism and extravagance may still offend, we gain insight into the forces that drove them to maintain or seize control.

Downton Abbey meets Gilded Age:  Lady Carnarvon with Rachel B. & Barb G. at Newport's Breakers

The Social Graces highlights the limits placed on ambitious women in an era when they could neither vote nor make legal decisions without their husbands' consent. If a woman wanted to climb the ladder of success, each step was measured by the best home, the best dress and the best ball. And, although having millions of dollars didn't guarantee success, it certainly made the rise among the rungs a whole lot easier.

Rosen's novel also underscores the "values" of the time from relationships to attire. Marriages were transactional:  matches with "good families" and aristocracy weighed more than love and staying in such an arrangement - even when a spouse was disloyal or absent - was encouraged over a divorce.  Fashion, too, was paramount and carried a lot of excess baggage, both literally and figuratively. Summering in Newport demanded some 90 dresses - and that was just for six weeks.

More Gilded Age adventures in Palm Beach

After tour of Whitehall, tea, of course.

And, then there was the constant competition to outdo the last ball hostess with a larger menu, finer wines and grander gifts. The once acceptable party favors of flowers and silk fans gave way to diamond bracelets and ruby cufflinks.  

Although for most of us, it's hard to relate to the challenges of the Gilded Age glitterati, The Social Graces portrays Caroline and Alva as real women facing real struggles - betrayal, loss and self doubt. In reflective moments their inner dialogue debates whether all their efforts were meaningful or simply shallow and wasteful.

I found The Social Graces highly readable, entertaining, and informative. For newcomers, it offers an engaging introduction to this drama; for those of us who need no "calling card" to this Gilded Age story, it provides yet another perspective on a time that never ceases to fascinate.

🕮🕮🕮🕮🕮🕮🕮🕮🕮🕮🕮🕮🕮🕮🕮🕮🕮🕮🕮🕮🕮🕮🕮🕮🕮🕮🕮🕮🕮🕮

I originally purchased "The Social Graces" via Saturn Booksellers in Gaylord, Michigan in April of 2021. This was during quarantine times and Saturn Booksellers was hosting an on-line event for this new novel (published in 2021) from Renee Rosen. While I wasn't able to attend the Zoom meeting, I bought the book with the goal of reading in the near future. Only four years later, I'm shopping my bookcases and finding treasures, like "The Social Graces".

Unfortunately, Saturn Booksellers has gone out of business. The owner, Jill Miner, who we interviewed in 2020 (see BTS blog: Saturn Booksellers in Gaylord) retired and was unsuccessful in finding a buyer. 

On a happier note, Renee Rosen's latest book is "Let's Call her Barbie", published this year. Looks like another good read and future Barb's Tea Service Tea and Tomes!

Tuesday Tea and Tomes: Jo Baker's Longbourn - Pride and Prejudice from the servant's point of view

Longbourn by Jo Baker imagines the world of the Bennet's servants in Austen's Pride & Prejudice

Having a mother whose nerves are the family's constant companions, younger sisters who are incurably silly, and a suitor who initially found her “not too tempting” are certainly challenges for Elizabeth Bennet. but at least she didn’t have to cook, clean, or empty chamber pots.

In Longbourn, author Jo Baker takes us “downstairs” into the world of the Bennet family’s servants—a staff of four who work tirelessly for Mr. and Mrs. Bennet and their five daughters. Housekeeper and butler Mr. and Mrs. Hill, along with young housemaid Sarah and the even younger Polly, form a family of circumstance, bound by love and care. Their laborious, routine lives are upended when a new footman, James, is hired to assist the household—much to Mrs. Bennet’s delight, as she sees him as a sign of elevated status.

Barb G. with Jo Baker at the Jane Austen Festival in 2014

My daughter Rachel and I met Jo Baker in 2014, a year after Longbourn’s publication, at the Jane Austen Festival hosted by the Louisville JASNA chapter. Before reading excerpts from her book, Baker shared how she meticulously annotated Pride and Prejudice for every mention of a servant, then began crafting a narrative that extended beyond their brief interactions with the Bennets.

Sometime after the Louisville event, Rachel and I read Longbourn, but it had been so long that we both needed a refresher. In this year of Jane Austen tributes—honoring her 250th birthday—it felt like the perfect time to reconnect not only with the Bennets, Bingleys, and Fitzwilliam Darcy, but also with those shadowy figures who serve them all.

Jo Baker reading excerpts from Longbourn

Although I’m deeply familiar with Pride and Prejudice, I believe Longbourn stands on its own and can be enjoyed independently. Still, the real fun lies in spotting the references and connections to the charming, awkward, and sinister characters who cavort through Austen’s most famous novel.

Like Pride and Prejudice, Longbourn is structured in three volumes and isn’t afraid to delve into scandalous behavior. It swings from vivid depictions of the servants’ oppressive toil—such as fetching shoe adornments in town for the Bennet ladies on a cold, rainy day—to treasured moments of escape, like a quick puff on a cigarette or a romantic kiss near the stables.

Longbourn isn’t a backstory—it’s a below-the-stairs story, spotlighting the often forgotten and unglamorous figures dismissed by the gentry but given care and consideration by Jo Baker. She pokes holes in their suffocating environment to reveal that they share the same hopes, intelligence, and drive as Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy—just without the fancy wrapping and shoe roses.

A clever approach to a much-loved classic, we recommend Longbourn—whether it’s your first read or a long-awaited reconnection.

Spoiler alert:

Longbourn ventures into some dark places and situations, and I feared it might end in a way that felt very un-Jane Austen. But I found the conclusion satisfying and true to the tone of Austen’s novels.

Japanese Tea Ceremony at Cranbrook's Frank Lloyd Wright house

Japanese tea ceremony at Cranbrook's Frank Lloyd Wright Smith House

A Japanese tea ceremony fits seamlessly into Cranbrook’s Frank Lloyd Wright Smith House. Wright, famed for many unique designs including his Usonian homes for America’s middle class as well as grand commercial structures in Japan, left a legacy that bridged cultures. The Smith House in Bloomfield Hills reflects his signature American design while incorporating treasures from Tokyo, including fine china from the Imperial Hotel he built in the 1920s.

This weekend, daughter Rachel and I, took part in a Japanese tea ceremony event at the Smith House. I booked the tickets last month after I received a few emails from family and friends who felt this was something we'd need to attend. And, how right (or Wright!), they were. (A special thanks to Matt and Pam).

Rachel & Barb (owners of BTS) outside Smith House

Kevin A., Curator, giving tour

It wasn’t our first tea ceremony; years ago Rachel and I observed one at the Detroit Institute of Arts. But this was our first time actively participating—sampling both the tea and the service.

The timing felt especially meaningful. Our son and daughter‑in‑law recently held their wedding reception at a Frank Lloyd Wright home in Two Rivers, Wisconsin, and experienced a personal tea ceremony while visiting Japan in May (and yes, that wonderful couple brought me back some quality matcha and tea accoutrements).

Exterior of Smith House

Exterior of FLW Two Rivers home

Our tour began at the Cranbrook Institute of Science (once home to the bat house where Rachel worked in high school). Twenty visitors gathered in the lobby before boarding a yellow school bus for the short ride to the Smith House. Our guide was Kevin Adkisson, Curator at the Cranbrook Center for Collections and Research. We’ve attended many of his lectures—always entertaining and informative.

China from Imperial Hotel in Japan

Large windows overlooking scenic grounds

Inside the Smith House, we settled onto the banquet seating in the living room. Rachel and I immediately noticed similarities to the Two Rivers home: low ceilings framing intimate spaces that open into higher, airy rooms, perfect for entertaining. Large windows overlook scenic water views, while bedrooms and the kitchen occupy a modest footprint—far from today’s sprawling suites and gourmet kitchens.

Rachel receiving matcha tea.

The “great room” of its time proved an ideal setting for the tea ceremony. The tea master and honored guest demonstrated the art of preparing, serving, and receiving tea, including the ceremonial cleansing of utensils and appreciation of the displayed art and serving pieces.

Matcha in pretty cup

Sweet treat served before matcha tea.

At the conclusion, practitioners in elegant kimonos presented each guest with a nerikiri (a delicate sweet) alongside a cup of freshly whisked matcha. Guests admired the designs on their teacups, mindful to turn the most beautiful side outward for all to enjoy.

It was a wonderful afternoon—an inspired blend of new interests (Frank Lloyd Wright) and old passions (tea). We highly recommend attending this event when Cranbrook offers it again.

A wonderful way to spend an afternoon. Four thumb's up from BTS.