Tuesday Tea and Tomes: "King Lehr and the Gilded Age"

King Lehr tells the story of the Gilded Age couple, Harry Lehr and Elizabeth Drexel

"King Lehr" is not a Shakespearean tragedy, but it certainly shares elements of the narcissism, deception and power grabs of the bard's great play. 

"King Lehr and the Gilded Age" was recommended to me by a docent of The Elms when we visited the Gilded Age mansion in Newport, Rhode Island last month (and, more of the adventures of that trip coming to future BTS blogs stories, to be sure!)

BTS visits Newport - more blogs stories to come!

The author of the book, which was written in 1938, is Elizabeth "Bessie" Drexel, whose portrait (which also dons the cover of her book) hangs today in The Elm's ballroom.

"King Lehr and the Gilded Age" is a firsthand account of a time, to borrow (again) from Shakespear, when all that glittered was not gold. In the late 19th century, Bessie was a lonely young widow from a well-respected family of New York's upper echelon. Her world would change drastically upon meeting Harry Lehr, her social climbing second husband.  With little money of his own to support his taste for expensive clothes, dining and travel, Lehr parlayed his good looks and charm to fill the void of a recently ostracized doyen of Mrs. Astor's elite 400, Ward McAlister. 

Mrs. Astor  (picture on display at the Rosecliff mansion)

Seeking a suitable match for his aspirational lifestyle, Harry Lehr courted Bessie and her family fortune, winning her over quickly. A marriage date was set and fanfare ensued - that is, until the first night of their honeymoon, when Harry told his new bride he would not be joining her in the bedroom. Oh, and not just for that evening, but every evening going forward. Harry proclaimed the marriage was one "in name only", that he did not love Bessie and never could. 

Mystified as to why Harry would marry her, he confessed to Bessie it was all for her money.  And, although their union would not be consummated, Harry promised he would give Bessie much attention publicly and, with his charisma and her money, they would have access to all the best homes and parties locally and abroad.

Devasted, Bessie weighed her options. Her faith, and a frail, sickly mother were just a few of the factors that contributed to Bessie's decision to stay with Harry Lehr. A commitment that lasted - for better or worse - twenty-eight years.

Rachel outside The Elms

Being a Gilded Age enthusiast and reading a great deal of books on the topic, I've come across the abbreviated story of Bessie and Harry many times. It's usually written in a rather sympathetic tone towards Bessie. And, while I agree, she was certainly taken advantage of and Harry's apres-marriage declaration was a horrifying way to start a life together, Bessie isn't completely above reproach. Her life with Harry was glamorous and, due to her husband's ambition and personality, the couple were entertained by royalty throughout Europe.  She notes her husband's foibles and members of her social circles' faux pas, but never her own (and, as it autobiographical, she is entitled to her own "spin").  But I found some discrepancies in her tales such as her "Cinderella story" of Henry Flager's third wife (neither 35 nor an undistinguished servant). More importantly, however, she was offered some "escapes" from her marriage to Harry Lehr and she opted not to take them. One might suppose that, perhaps, she was not all that offended by her "jet-set" lifestyle (of course, before commercial jets) and relished it more than she admitted.

Elizabeth Drexel's picture hangs today in The Elms' ballroom

The most off-putting element of her story, however, is blatant racism. Difficult to excuse, even though these were "different times".  As a victim of circumstances as she proclaimed, a bit more sensitivity would be in order. 

In her final act, she pens the book as "Lady Decies" as she married Baron Decies after Harry Lehr's death. Perhaps titles meant more than she disclosed?

And, don't be enticed by the book's final entry "Extracts from Harry Lehr's Locked Diary". There are no revelations or exposes - just journal entries of venues and menus.  As exciting as my shopping list for Kroger's. 

Overall, with credit to The Bard, methinks the lady protests too much. 

All that glitters is definitely not gold and this Gilded Age tale is a testament to that sage adage.